Even Doctors Make Mistakes: Our 2 Yr Struggle

Well I have to say that maternal instincts are certainly a very real thing, and they definitely should be trusted. This blog is about a really long journey that started when Noah was born, and has finally come to sort of a resolution yesterday. If you had any problems breast feeding, problems with feeding your kid, or noticed your child has speech issues than this blog is for you. I was relentless in my search for answers, and after 2 years finally got some. I want to walk through Noah's journey with a problem that started at birth, to hopefully help someone out there who has struggled/is struggling with the same thing.

The beginning: It all started when Noah was born, and the normal 2 week painful nursing window never went away. My sister in law has 4 kids, and was a rock star at nursing. She always told me to hang in there past the first 2 wks, and it will get better. 4 wks went by and I was in so much pain on a daily basis I had to continue to take hydrocodone, in addition to Aleve 2x/day just to get through the day. I called my OB, talked to our pediatrician, and spoke to my co-worker who was a lactation consultant at the hospital, and everyone was out of suggestions. His latch 'looked' good, and there was no KNOWN reason for why he was literally chewing me up, AND why he couldn't gain weight. He started out at 8# 1oz. and dropped to <10th percentile quickly and never got over it for a while. We had a very supportive pediatrician who never suggested formula, but I absolutely knew something was wrong. A sweet friend, trying to encourage me, suggested I pump and give Noah one bottle a day to relieve some of the pain and help promote healing. I cried and cried and cried the first bottle I gave him... The one bottle a day helped, but I never healed so I slowly transitioned from nursing all day to pumping all day then nursing only once a day. I was a slave to the pump, and I felt guilty because a lot of times I had to put him in his swing to pump, and I just had to watch him from across the room. Heart... breaking... My supply barely ever provided for his daily feedings also. 

The first specialist: From the recommendation of a friend I sought out a pediatric dentist to investigate his upper lip. I suspected he had an upper lip tie, which if you have never seen one, his upper frenulum looked a lot like this. His was even tighter, I just can't find a picture, basically it looked like it hooked completely under his gums. 

(picture borrowed from: https://www.breastfeedingmaterials.com/case-studies/infant-retracted-upper-lip-and-maternal-nipple-trauma)

So I get to the pediatric dentist expecting some answers, waited 30 minutes, and he told me my son was totally normal. NORMAL? Really?! I had seen a lactation consultant a million times and nothing was improving in my pain or healing, so I knew something was wrong. What I left with from that visit was that I was not TRYING hard enough to breast feed... AND that I was crazy apparently... not to mention More heart ache... 

My sanity starts to fade: I'm pretty confident I never dealt with postpartum, but I was extremely defeated by all of my nursing problems. I think it was more along the lines of situational depression. I felt like an UTTER FAILURE! All the hopes and dreams I had of nursing my son and the wonderful experience I had hoped it to be, began to fade. As a dietitian I KNEW that breast feeding was the absolute best thing for my son, and I was damned and determined to not give up. I'm stubborn like that... Side note: I never healed until I completely stopped breast feeding altogether, keep that in mind. So pumping HURT, the one time/day I nursed HURT, my heart HURT, and my spirit was crushed... 

Reality sets in: My sweet friend who is a pediatric Nurse Practitioner came to visit with her son who was 2 months YOUNGER than Noah when he was about 14 wks old, and when I looked at them side by side I knew something wasn't right. They were the EXACT same size. Noah was growing extremely slowly, and I tried to act like I didn't notice but I couldn't deny it anymore. It started to sink in that something was wrong... and it felt like all my fault.  He was such a wonderful baby, full of joy, and a great sleeper that I didn't want to accept the truth. BUT the ugly truth was, I was totally failing at breast feeding. I didn't want to see the signs, but they were definitely there. One big sign was that he would cry at the end of a feeding like he was still hungry, but would take a pacifier and calm down. I wasn't necessarily trying to ration the milk I did have, I was just utterly confused because even though he seemed hungry, he had HORRIBLE REFLUX! I tried every reflux solution under the sun and it never got better. So if I GAVE him all that he thought he wanted, he threw most of it up. The reflux will be explained later, but it was NOT due to the fact that he wasn't hungry. He was very hungry actually. My sanity continues to fade... 

The transition to formula: I will never forget the next couple of weeks of trying to hold on to breast feeding, and realizing it was almost over for me. I spilt the only stock pile I had and literally SOBBED.. for a very long time.... After speaking with a friend, she told me that her sister in law was an over producer and had an enormous stock pile, and that she would probably donate some milk to me. At first I was weary of accepting it mainly out of pride, and then I was unbelievably humbled that another woman would be so selfless to give up 'liquid gold' so that I could continue to have a child that held the title of "Exclusively Breastfed."  I realize now that I held on to the title at the end much longer than I should have. This sweet friend graciously gave us at least a couple weeks of milk, and then at 16 weeks I finally gave in and gave him formula. I will never forget her kindness, and generosity to love another mom through a tough season and provide for my baby. I gave Noah Earth's Best Organic Formula (because it made me feel better it was organic for some reason) and he never looked back. 

Formula was a gift from heaven: at the time I resented the formula, I LOATHED the smell, the texture, the look on his face when he would transition from a bottle of breast milk to formula... BUT he was FINALLY growing!!! He was back on his growth curve, he was happy, I stopped pumping as much, and by 6 months old he had completely weaned himself. He still had reflux for reasons we didn't understand at the time, and I had to have him on fast flow nipples or he fussed and fussed, but he was GROWING ya'll!!! He jumped from the 10th percentile in weight and 60th in height, to the 50th in weight and the 90th in height in ONE MONTH! He was back on his original growth curve, and all was FINALLY right in the world... so we thought. 

Fast forward to teeth: When Noah's teeth finally came in, there was a gap SO HUGE in the front that people actually thought he was missing a tooth. I knew he wasn't... I KNEW it was the frenulum. I took him to a pediatric ENT who formally diagnosed the upper lip tie. She said that boys usually tear them on their own eventually, and they don't usually correct them until their adult teeth come in if they need too. So I went to ANOTHER dentist (a different one of course), and she confirmed the same thing... so we moved on with our lives.. again. 

Fast forward to talking: Noah has never hit any of his milestones super early, but he certainly has never been late. I started noticing when he would attempt to talk he could NEVER say things the way his friends could though. He tried... but he just couldn't. I thought maybe it was just another thing the Lord needed to teach me patience on, so when I quit my job I started working with him daily on letters, reading, and such. He got better, but still was not where his friends were, even the younger ones. I spoke to a speech and language therapist at the hospital prior to quitting, and she confirmed that his speech issues could be related to his lip tie. I spoke to a good friend who had a daughter who had a lip AND tongue tie, and ANOTHER friend who is a dentist and finally decided to see ONE MORE SPECIALIST. 

FINALLY the right dentist! At the recommendation of 2 people I got an appointment with only 1 of TWO pediatric dentists in ALL of HOUSTON that specialize in lip ties. I went in without any expectations, but was happily surprised. Within 10 minutes of being there my little guy had been diagnosed with not only a significant upper lip tie, but also a deep rear tongue tie. I sit here barely able to put into words how utterly validated but UNBELIEVABLY FRUSTRATED I was at the same time. My breast feeding had been robbed from me, my sanity stretched, and my heart broken seeing my little guy HUNGRY all that time, and I KNEW in my heart and soul that something had always been wrong...

IMPORTANT NOTE! Apparently lip/tongue ties are fairly normal, but only a small percentage of the population actually have babies that can't nurse from them, AND an even smaller percentage need to have any sort of intervention. The sad part is that significant cases like Noah's end up turning into situations where the mother seeks answers, doesn't get any, and then just ends up formula feeding (Which, thank the Lord for formula, otherwise our babies would have no other options.) Or in my very own instance, I didn't talk until I was THREE and then was in speech therapy until second grade.  One VERY interesting thing I learned was, that apparently mid wives and doctors used to be VERY knowledgeable about ties until formula was pushed in the 50s. Historically babies would DIE, yes DIE if their mother's couldn't nurse. Midwives and doctors were actually so familiar with ties, they could tell as soon as the baby was born if it was lip/tongue tied, and they clipped them immediately. Nowadays, there are only a few specialists who even know that there are more than 1 or 2 different ones. If you suspect your child has a tongue tie, and you live near by I would be happy to connect you with the people I know who can help you. 

The FINAL solution, and fast forward to present day: The dentist wasn't too concerned about his health/teeth in general (he has maintained >50th percentile in weight, and >95th percentile in height ever since we started formula), but still recommended we see someone for further evaluation of his speech. After months of trying to schedule an appointment, yesterday we FINALLY had an appointment with a pediatric speech therapist to see if we could work on his speech (this is their first option before lazering any of ties, which is usually done closer to 3 if they are not nursing any more). SO yesterday we go to a speech and language center in Katy, again expecting very little, and left with more information than I could have imagined. Not only is he definitely suffering from a bit of a significant language issue, but he also presently has feeding problems... STILL!!!!! His tongue can't move properly, and his cheek muscles are under developed therefore he can only chew a certain way.  His chubby cheeks should have thinned out by now, but are still there despite his body thinning out. She was shocked at how well he has adapted, given the significance of his tongue tie. She attributed his reflux/ nursing problems as a baby 100% to the tongue as well. I just sat there in utter disbelief that it had gotten this far... TWO YEARS LATER and I knew something was wrong week 3... 

Validation, frustration, tears, and motivation: between yesterday and today I have felt a myriad of emotions. TRUST ME, in the grand scheme of things... I KNOW this is not that big of a deal to anyone but Jamey and I. He does not have a significant medical issue, and he will be fine... he has managed to thrive, grow, and adapt in-spite of it all. But this has legitimately been a struggle for me personally. I desperately wanted to breast feed and couldn't, he was hungry for much of the beginning of his life, we have had eating issues this entire time that I thought were just related to a million other things... and above all things I had specialist after specialist make me feel like I was CRAZY!!!!!!!! My maternal instincts were there, and it breaks my heart to think that I couldn't have done something sooner. My pregnant hormones got the best of me today and I cried about it out of frustration, and now I'm being proactive about it trying to educate you all in this blog.

The future: I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant but starting Monday we will begin speech therapy twice a week with someone who specializes in eating/speech problems. According to the lady we saw yesterday he will still most likely need the rear tie lazered before he is 3. For right now, I'm grateful we finally got answers, but I'm frustrated they took this long to come. Like I said previously, in the grand scheme this is no big deal... but for all the frustration and tears I have shed over the past couple of years over a problem I knew existed but no one believed me about, this finally feels like validation. 

I pray this has shed some light on a topic very few people are properly educated about, AND that it encourages you to trust that instinct inside of you that tells you if something isn't right with your little one. Also, don't forget to QUESTION medical professionals... it's hard for me to challenge people to do that knowing that I never loved to be questioned, but it needs to happen. Everyone is human, and NO ONE has all the answers. I'll keep the blog updated on how speech therapy goes, and if Noah's food preferences expand once he can finally use his tongue properly...  

In the mean time, keep fighting the good fight of trying to raise healthy little ones!!

Love and blessings, 

The Veggie Momma

Toddlers, Patience, & Perseverance

WOW, where to begin? Well so very much has changed since my last post, but the two biggest changes are 1.) I'm pregnant with our second munchkin Due Dec. 14th :) 2.) I am no longer working at the hospital.  The second change had a lot to do with the first one, and I'm very happy about the decision. I miss my patients terribly, and I'm definitely going back to work eventually, but for right now this is what is best for our family. I get to help my hubby with his businesses, and juggle preparing for a new baby with a crazy toddler to run after. Speaking of being pregnant with a toddler, WHOA that has been interesting, and exhausting to say the least. I have compromised my standards of nutrition a few times (well a lot of times honestly), and Noah has had fast food more than I am comfortable with, but he is still happy and healthy and that's what matters. Since my last post, luckily he has started communicating better which has been extremely helpful with reducing the frequency of tantrums,  but the STUBBORN 'twos' have now definitely arrived in our home! He turns 2 this week actually, and it seems as some things get easier, of course others get harder. When it comes to his eating habits lately I have learned two very important things that have carried me through this season. 1.) Practice patience 2.) Persevere.... 

Patience: 
Practicing patience a million times a day is probably the hardest part of this stage because my toddler is having to learn what this concept is all day every day, while I'm learning how to be a grace giving mother all day... every... day. Noah really loves to be involved in meal prep, and likes to feed himself these days. Both of which can get VERY messy, but naturally are a part of him learning how to be independent. Of course it would be easier for me to do everything my self, but I know allowing him to be involved will help him continue to develop good eating habits for the rest of his life.

Cooking for example, he loves to help me cook, and he ALWAYS makes a mess, but I try to get him involved in things that are safe and practical for him to do.

 



Seeing him interested in cooking is worth the mess it makes. Obviously I don't cook every day, even now that I'm home more, however when I'm feeling particularly patient (ha!) I find a way to get him involved. The mess that inevitably ends up all over the kitchen is always a part of the deal, no way getting around it. Even if he doesn't eat everything we made, he at least tries it, and that's a victory for me!

Another area I have to constantly battle practicing patience with is, when he doesn't want to eat something he seemingly has always loved... for example his mixed veggies. He has ALWAYS LOVED THESE!! Since the beginning of his short little life he has loved these... see proof below.

Until last week... he only takes a bite or two at a time and won't touch them again. For an entire week he has snubbed these. Our old tried-and-true favorite has found themselves on his 'reject food' list for the first time. He still isn't interested in them, and I am definitely having to practice patience setting these aside for a little while. In the spirit of perseverance, which is my next topic, I have decided to never give up. So I go to my back up, cucumbers and celery. While cucumbers are anatomically technically a fruit, I still give Noah credit for eating them as a veggie since they are green. Children can easily develop food aversions to all green foods because they associate them with tasting bitter. Cucumbers are my homie, and our friend because they are always sweet, and (at least in my mind) help combat that misconception. This is what our lunches have looked like lately.

That's an almond butter, and strawberry jelly sandwich with his cucumbers and celery. Some days he eats both the green things, some days he doesn't touch either. Sometimes I make 4 differnt things, and he still won't eat any of it. Honestly, this is where the perseverance part has to become a priority. I had found, eventually maybe weeks later, Noah will come around. 

Other areas I have to continue practicing patience with until we have  completely out grown them are: throwing food on the floor, throwing food in general, pouring out cups for fun, walking around the house while eating messy things, dumping containers out, refusing to eat meat, refusing to eat anything healthy at a restaurant, dumping food off of his plate just for fun... FYI, non of these behaviors are 'allowed' in our home, but until we have broken these bad habits (with discipline of course) I. must. be. patient. (you people with hungry dogs get a little bit of a break when it comes to some of these haha). 

Side Note: I have said this a million times, but it's true now more than ever. Noah may not be interested in eating at all, but if Jamey and I sit down (turn the T.V. off) and start eating with out him, usually he decides to join in. Family meals are so very necessary to establish good eating habits. Some weeks we go days without eating a meal where we are all at the same table, but if it's within my control to make it happen, it's always a priority for us on a daily basis. And of course you actually have to be willing to eat the veggies yourself... naturally! 

Another Side Note: One book I read said that eating is a HUGE inconvenience for toddlers as it interferes with their playtime which is the most important thing in their daily lives. Some days I give him a little more time when he's playing until his attention is redirected, then I try a meal. Otherwise if he's deep in play, he is NOT interested in stopping to eat. 

Perseverance: 

This topic is the most important message from today's blog. I have noticed that teething is usually the culprit for most of his food aversions, but sometimes I wonder if he just gets sick of certain foods? Other days it just feels like he's torturing me haha.

I constantly have to make sure my self worth is not tied up in being able to control this area of his life. I just have to continue to be stead-fast, because personally as mother I feel victorious and worthy (to be honest) when my child will eat something I prepared that is healthy. On the flip side, it can be equally disheartening when they reject every single thing you put in front of them, days. on. END. But refusing to give up on veggies as a whole, is the overall message I'm trying to encourage you to embrace. I can't say it enough that SO many of my patients fell into the  "I've never liked vegetables, even since I was a kid" club. Usually their parents labeled them as 'non veggie-eaters' and it just stuck.

And TRUST ME, I GET IT!!!! There have been so many times over the past couple of months where I have been sick, double exhausted from being preggo, and at my wits end... but I just refuse to give up. I want to implore you with everything I have to keep keepin' on mommas and papas. Like I said before, I have compromised more than I ever thought I would since his sweet baby days of eating everything I put in front of him, but I have not given up, and I encourage you to hang in there too. My expectation used to be veggies at lunch and dinner daily... now I'm happy if it's just one meal a day. On our rough days I'm happy if he just takes a bite or two, or will drink some low sodium V8. The focus is starting new each day, and persevering through the tough times.

Final thought: I will never forget the patients I saw day after day lying in a hospital bed with health related medical conditions that may have been avoided if they took better care of their bodies. You have to remember why this is important, especially during the tough times. You're committed to helping your little ones develop healthy eating habits, because you don't want that to be them laying in any hospital if there is any way you can help it.

Don't forget to give your self grace, practice patience daily, and above all things.... persevere.

Love and Blessings Always, 

The Veggie Momma 

The Terrible "T"s

You're probably wondering where I have been... honestly I have been trying to keep my head above water. My dear sister-in-law always says "it's just a season," well that's the truth! We moved, my husband traveled for a month, and then we were ALL sick for a month.. it was fun, not. Hoping that season has moved on for now!

I have had a couple blog topics swimming around in my head for sometime, and today I finally figured out how to put them into organized thoughts. I am condensing quite a few topics into what I like to call the 'Terrific "T"s'... no wait that's not right, they are the 'Terrible "T"s.. yes the eternal optimist has deemed these things terrible. I'm talking about  1.) T.V. 2.) Teething & Texture 3.) Tantrums... 

Oh my goodness ya'll the 'Toddler Terrific Twos' have arrived early in the Smith house hold! I'm certain some of you with older little ones saw this coming... I saw it coming, but I did not have a clue! The precious little light of my life, sure has learned how to exercise his right to an opinion, and boy has it been interesting. For such a tiny human, he sure does have strong opinions! To clarify, the 'Terrible "T"s' are not things I hate, I have just realized that they SIGNIFICANTLY affect his eating habits, in more ways then I could have ever realized. I'm going to go through each one, and discuss ways that we have dealt with them, hopefully some of the things we have tried will help you too. 

1.) T.V. .... for the record, I love T.V. I really do. My husbands' degree is in computer engineering so we have nice electronics... BUT the T.V. can be extremely detrimental to establishing good meal time behaviors. I have witnessed this first hand!! Noah will bypass eating EVERY SINGLE TIME to watch Mickey, every time! And if the T.V. is on, he will slowly, and distractingly graze through his food. Now I have to clarify, our old house was not 'open-concept'  and our new one is. Therefore he has definitely unintentionally watched T.V. more while eating because our kitchen is completely open to the living room. I'm trying extremely hard to back track from letting him eat while the T.V. is on, because it so negatively affects him. Lately I turn it off completely, and that really helps. I read an article recently that said meal time needs to be seen as a special time with mom and dad, not just another passive moment in our daily grind. I was also reminded at a bible study recently that our kids just want time with us more than anything in the world... that stuck with me. So I've been trying the one-on-one, no T.V., 'special' mommy-time (when it's just us for a meal) approach and it is absolutely working. Would I rather be watching HGTV... sometimes haha, but this is important, and worth the effort. Plus I love the interaction between us, he gazes into my eyes, tries to touch my eye lashes, and feeds me. Memories I would have missed out on, no doubt had I been distracted by the T.V. (or cell-phone, don't forget about those sneaky things!). Of course we try to have meals as a family as much as possible as well!

2.) Teething & Texture... it's so funny to me that everyone blames everything (grumpiness, slobber, tiredness, etc.) on teething... but it's TRUE, teething is the DEVIL haha. These poor little humans are subjected to an unrelenting ebb-and-flow of excruciating pain for an ENTIRE YEAR! I would like to give Noah props though, because he really has handled it well up until those stupid molars started torturing him. Now... I have found we really can't blame EVERYTHING on teething, the tantrums and such may be a need for parental interventions and discipline... HOWEVER, it is seriously hard to decipher which one it is! Especially since my 18 mth old can't communicate fully with me yet. The other day, after literally putting my head in my freezer from frustration, I finally realized how big of an impact teething has though. He had been SUPER grumpy pretty much all day, and basically refused to eat anything. Out of desperation, I gave him some Tylenol because his cry sounded like a cry of pain. Literally within 5 minutes he came bounding in to the kitchen with a smile, scarfed down 2 whole plates of food, including a variety of veggies, and not another tear was shed!! I don't over use Tylenol, but in that moment I was praising God for his creation because my heart couldn't take any more. Texture falls right into the teething issue because if it is something rough/hard, like raw veggies, it is off the table some days. Cooked/steamed are our go-tos. Also some tried-and-true things that have worked for me lately when his teeth are really giving him problems are: lots of veggie pouches (preferably not mixed w/ fruit/ yogurt so they don't expect veggies to always taste sweet), steamed frozen veggies, squashes, cucumbers, and good ole' Organic canned (these are super super soft).  If he only takes a couple bites at times I am pretty happy with that. Also don't forget that just because they liked the texture of one food at one time, they may not like it cooked that way during a picky season (and it doesn't mean they don't like the food altogether anymore). Noah stopped liking Zucchini 'fries' but apparently likes peeled whole zucchini's. He also stopped liking the tops of broccoli, and only likes the stems. AND he FINALLY likes pears.. for some reason he hated them until recently. Again reiterating my never ending plea to never completely eliminate a food from your little ones diet... they really may come back around!

3.) Tantrums... WHOA, hello chaos! When they come, they are like a tornado, and eating ANYTHING is completely out of the question! I read a book that encourages keeping kiddos on their schedule, which is supposed to help with tantrums. Well, I have definitely found that to be true.  However, I have found my best weapon of choice is to be proactive. When Noah gets hungry, he gets terribly unreasonable. Therefore, I try to keep his schedule consistent with his meals. Also I have found that he definitely needs to have a hearty lunch before his nap, or he wakes up a bear (and then gets so upset he refuses to eat). Grazing does NOT help, balanced meals DO help. Snacks are necessary, but if a kid snacks all day they will not be hungry for their meals. We are now into the discipline world, and it's your choice about how to parent your children so I'll tread lightly on that topic - but of course that does have it's place in this. I have personally found that if he is sick, physically hurting, exhausted, or hungry, the tantrums will come more frequently. Fortunately I do have some influence on preventing a few of those from getting out of hand by being proactive. Side note: I did have to throw quite a few of my balanced diet expectations out the window when he was sick for 3 weeks... we just survived haha. Take home message: ideas that have worked for us include maintaining a semi regular schedule, consistency, and predictability. Maintaining these seem to help lessen the frequency and duration of tantrums. Final thought: If your kiddo is throwing a tantrum over the fact they don't want to eat what you serve, it can be difficult, but you need to stand your ground. I always offer a few options, but never cave into something that I know is terrible for him. You are the adult and you know what is best for them. If Noah had his way he would drink my coffee, eat dark chocolate, and french fries every day haha. Not going to happen!

Hopefully a few of my trouble shooting ideas will help you during this season too. At the end of the day, what matters is that you try. That your kids see you trying, and you get them involved in some way. Noah likes to spread peanut butter on bread, and then of course lick it and try to put his hands in it haha. BUT at least he's involved.. and we're both trying. Never give up parents, the habits you establish now will absolutely follow your kiddos for the rest of their lives so make them good ones! 

I would LOVE to hear ideas that have worked for you and your Terrible "T"s, please share away, we're all in this together! 

Love & blessings from Noah, 

The Veggie Momma

The Honest Truth & Bullies

Howdy blogger world! Well I'm happy to say that we have moved and are finally settling in to our new home. It is lovely, and I'm so happy, but I'm also pretty exhausted. I haven't forgotten about you guys, I just have been swimming in boxes & haven't been able to find, well pretty much anything haha. Through the perils of moving Noah has maintained his good appetite, and still by the grace of God loves his veggies. The move has not been without a few compromises however as for the first time he had french fries, fast food more than once, and most days never got a hot meal. I haven't made his meatballs, or his breakfast muffins in about a month. Good news is, he's still alive, and he still loves his veggies. Happy to see he has pushed through and hasn't regressed at all. Some days he likes certain veggies more than others, but overall still loves them! I started putting a tiny bit of garlic salt on some of his veggies. He really loves them that way, which my mom says is unusual because most children don't like garlic... oh well, give it a try, maybe your little one would like it too!

Moving is not what this particular blog is about, even though surviving it with a 1 yr old could be a whole in blog in itself ahah... Yesterday I had a pretty rough day emotionally, which kind of sparked something in me that I felt like I needed to get off my chest. I was going through some boxes from my childhood that my mother dropped off, and found a couple of old diaries. I've had diaries my whole life, from elementary school and up. It has always been very cathartic for me to write out how I'm feeling. Anyways, I opened up the one from junior high and started reading. Noah was napping so I actually made it through the whole thing and ended up reading half way through my high school one. By the time I finished reading them I was incredibly grateful that I'm not a hormonal teenage girl anymore haha, but I was also so unbelievably sad.

Understand I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, and overall looking back I've always felt like I had a good child hood. But the one thing I guess I tried to block out was how incredibly unhappy I was being an overweight kid/teen. It was a constant theme throughout my journals, and it wasn't a body dysmorphia issue. It was real, I was chubbier than all my friends throughout my entire time in school, and was the most un-athletic out of pretty much everyone... always. Here are a few key moments that stuck out to me:

- 12.28.98: 8th grade - told I need to go on a diet by an adult
- 12.31.99: while at a friends house overheard a boy (who bullied me for years) say to his friend I was "disgusting"
- Prayed to God for a date to the 8th grade dance, went single w/ my friends.
- 6.20.99: started Weight Watchers (only 14 yrs old)
- High school: tried out for drill team, didn't make it
- High School: Freshman/sophomore/junior year dances got set up by friends for dates to all homecomings
- Sophomore year had a girl in the lunch room tell me I was cute, & had a pretty face, but that I shouldn't be wearing a skirt that short (because I was too chubby - remember that like it was yesterday)
- No real boyfriend until my senior year in high school
- Bullied ruthlessly by a guy who literally didn't leave me alone from junior high THROUGH  high school
- Tried a million different diets, diet pills etc. in attempt to fit in
- High school sweet heart & first boyfriend cheated on me in college (w/ a girl half my size practically) & broke my heart
- Never under a size 12 until after I was >19 yrs old
- Every SINGLE diary entry had some sort of question to God about why I didn't fit in, and why I couldn't be skinny like my friends...
- Another constant theme was hating myself for the way I looked

THIS, THIS IS WHY I BLOG!! This is why I'm so passionate about being healthy and raising healthy children. It is HEARTBREAKING to be a chubby kid. It took me YEARS to learn how to be healthy, the right way. And now I'm so proud to say I'm not obsessed with trying to be skinny, I'm not scared of having overweight children... I'm simply dedicated to living a healthy lifestyle, and raising children who are set up for success in life because they are loved, know Jesus, treat people kindly, are healthy, and aren't bullied by other kids or adults for being overweight! It was hard to be me as a kid. I am, and have always been an eternal optimist, but it was really really really tough being an overweight kid/ teen.... I wouldn't change any of it, because it has given me a perspective on life that is absolutely invaluable, and has instilled compassion in my heart for those who struggle with their weight. It has also given me an avenue to empathize with my patients, and to help people, because I have literally BEEN THERE!

It has also sparked a huge desire in me to keep encouraging families to live healthy lifestyles and combat childhood obesity. I'm sure my parents never knew the depths of what I faced, nor did my friends , but the struggle is so brutal with how mean kids can be. Luckily I had a supportive family, my faith in God and good friends who loved me well and I pulled through.

I hope by hearing my story you will be motivated to keep fighting for a healthy family. It's so incredibly hard in  todays' society, but it's not impossible. It's not about being skinny... it's about family dinners, endurance during kids'  picky eating seasons, playing outside, not always opting for fast food, cooking meals together, and being devoted to having a healthy lifestyle in general.

If you don't do it for yourself, please do it for your kids. My immediate family is now the healthiest it has been in years. My husband and I are both committed to raising healthy kiddos in a healthy home, and having him as a support system makes all the difference. Noah is not a veggie lover by accident, it has taken a TON of hard work, dedication, creativity, and patience to  help him develop healthy eating habits. But if it sets him up for a long healthy life free of chronic diseases, and helps prevent people from bullying him about his weight... It certainly has all been worth!

A couple things that might help staying focused on what's most important when trying to have a healthy family:
1.) Give yourself grace when you're in tough seasons.
2.) Give yourself grace in general, raising kids is hard.
3.) Be the light and encouragement in your friends, kids, & loved ones lives who struggle with their weight.
4.) Know it's never too late to have a healthy family.

Keep fighting on ya'll!

Love & Blessings, 

The Veggie Momma

Buying Organic - Part 1

Howdy Ya'll!

Well I haven't forgotten about the blog world we have just been B.U.S.Y!!! We are in the process of moving, not far, only about 15 min. away actually, BUT moving with a 14th old is nothing short of absolutely exhausting.

With all the moving chaos I'm sad to report that Noah had fast food for the first time... oh it broke my little heart. Of course he LOVED the grilled chicken nuggets from Chick-fil-a, i'm sure because of all that yummy salt haha. I'm happy to report though, that even with all of the chaos, he still has been munching away on his veggies as usual. One morning he even wanted green beans for breakfast... yup, breakfast. Which just goes to show that our food preferences, or societal norms cannot compete with the physiological predisposition humans have for plants.. It was kinda' weird, and actually really awesome haha.

Now onto the topic at hand, buying organic versus buying conventionally grown foods can be confusing, and honestly annoying at times. It's confusing because some people swear that if you don't eat organic you will shrivel up and die from pesticide poisoning. Others state that there really isn't any conclusive hard core evidence stating that it is 1,000% better... It also can be annoying at times because it is SO MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE!!! I personally feel like the prices have gotten a little more reasonable though. I shop at HEB, and they have come out with their own brand of organic products that are very reasonably priced. In part 2 of buying organic, I plan to take pictures and compare prices and the overall bill in my local grocery store. For right now, I feel like the most important thing is to pick your battles, and be knowledgeable about which foods are actually worth the extra money. It is broken down into two categories. The "Dirty Dozen" and the "Clean Fifteen". The dirty dozen, as you see below, are the foods that should be purchased organic whenever possible, because they have been tested, and traces of pesticides have been found on a regular basis. Again their is no evidence that these pesticides absolutely hurt humans, however, with our dear ones' little bodies of course everything would be more potent in them. 

The next group is the "Clean Fifteen", feel free to buy the below foods organic as well, but know this may be an area where you can save a few bucks and spend it on the other dirty dozen.  * Side Note: No this is not a conversation about GMOs by the way, those are completely different, and I will talk about them at another time.

This is a great article that addresses if buying organic produce is really worth it or not... it tries to say it isn't, but can't really make that statement concretely. I personally buy as much organic as I can, while staying in my monthly grocery budget. Of course I do try and stick to buying the "Dirty Dozen" organic, and then meat if I can. 

Speaking of meat... Now, I would attack the organic meat topic, but following article does it beautifully, so I will let you read it. Click here to read. Personally if there is anywhere that I would encourage you to consider spending your extra bucks, it would be on organic meat. OMG if you have ever seen a documentary on how meat is processed in America it will make you throw up. I'm certainly a meat eater, and I'm not a member of PETA, but it's interesting to say the least. My family has always had a ranch, and my husband has been able to kill a dear and process the meat at least once a year. One dear processed actually keeps us stocked with meat for about 4-6mths! Honestly, that is THE healthiest thing you could possibly do. When you know EXACTLY where your meat came from, and what it ate, you are getting the best of the best. So ladies with husbands who hunt or fish, give them a break and enjoy your significantly more nutritious protein at the dinner table. The following table is from the link above, and compares the nutritional value between beef. There IS a noticeable nutritional difference when it comes to meat, just take a look.. 

Also don't be fooled, just because a food says 'Natural' does NOT mean it is organic. You have to see the cute little USDA Organic label on something to know it is the real stuff. Truth: It is my goal in life to get those DISHONEST MARKETERS AHHHhhhhh!!! haha

I think I'm going to stop here ... there really is SO much to discuss on this topic, and I will revisit it later in "Buying Organic - Part 2". Hope you all have a wonderful week, and are gearing up for the holidays. 

Love & Blessings,

The Veggie Momma

Veggie fries, yum, YUM!! Finger Foods, easy & FUN!

Howdy Ya'll! I'm from Texas, if you didn't know that :)

I'm very happy to proclaim that since Noah has become a better walker he actually is eating ALOT BETTER!! He's not nearly as grumpy therefore everything in our world and his is easier, including meal times.  He's back to eating his veggies on an almost daily basis again too, Weeeeehooo!!

Quick side note: I've said it before, but I will say it again. I really think it is important for us to remember that our kiddos have food preferences. Yep, they are mini people, and they get bored with food JUST like we do. I forget this.. a lot... I really do. It's not that I'm trying to be close-minded, but sometimes I forget I have literally given him the exact same meal for an entire week. I would be bored of it too. Also, I realize some days he's just not 'in the mood' for a particular food. I have yet to give up on a food altogether if he's not in the mood though... we always come back to it.

Now onto the topic for today. I have realized that kids love ANYTHING Fry-ish looking. I have deduced that it is probably related to a dexterity issue because they are easier to grab, and hold onto. When Noah was really little and just learning to eat, cooked green beans were the easiest food for him to eat. It seems like if they can get a good grip, and aim for their mouths it will eventually end up in there. Fry shaped foods are much easier I have noticed, compared to something small like peas, or beans which take pretty advanced dexterity skills to pick up and accurately place into their mouths.

Now I realize that REAL fries are yummy and salty and fatty and delicious..... THOSE reasons are the main reasons why kids like them I'm sure, but I also think part of it really is that they can hold them easily. No my kid has not had a real fry yet, if you're wondering. But he has had a TON of 'Veggie Fries'. See below some of the veggie 'fry' like foods we have tried.

The picture above is from tonight when we tried raw asparagus for the first time. I was wondering if it would go along w/ my 'fry theory'.... IT DID! I NEVER would have guessed that my little guy would actually LIKE raw asparagus, let along be able to eat it with only 6 teeth, but he did.. and he loved it. He ate his asparagus and green beans interchangeably, double fisting and eating away. Be still my happy little heart haha. The small bottom right picture in the collage is of Noah eating broccoli this week... apparently we like broccoli again, thank goodness haha. Smaller pieces of broccoli and cauliflower make fun little 'veggie trees' FYI. Noah doesn't appreciate that this is cool yet, but I used to work with inner city kids who harvested organic vegetables that they planted from a garden outside of their school. They LOVED the idea of veggies as little 'trees', try it on your kids... see what they think.

The above photo is from a couple of weeks ago when Noah was eating Zucchini and cucumber 'fries'. His favorite veggie fry by far are cucumber fries, he has yet to reject them, even on a rough day. I mean really, who doesn't like cucumbers? I usually cut the skin off, but after seeing him chow down on raw asparagus tonight, I guess I don't need to anymore? 

Other foods that  I think would be great to try making into veggies fries for your little ones (if they have enough teeth) would be: carrots, summer squash, okra, sweet potatoes (the obvious one), bell peppers, & jicama. I can't forget to mention that an additional 'healthy fry' option would of course include the fruit version 'fry' made out of an: apple, pear, peach, orange, or tangerine. 

 Now meet:  Sally the Steamer

I had planned on steaming veggies for Noahs' lunches anyways, so I went ahead and steamed the rest of the asparagus. It's just not worth it for him to choke. Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE my steamer? Blogger world, meet Sally the Steamer, I love her. She does a GREAT job! This was definitely the very best $30.00 I have ever spent (though I think it actually might have been a wedding gift haha). We didn't get to use it for a long time because it was packed away in our tiny little apartment after we got married. But once we moved into a house, my husband pulled it out one night and we have never put it back. Did you know that an affordable way to always have FRESH-er veggies in your house is to buy FROZEN veggies? Yes frozen, they are harvested at their peak of ripeness and flash frozen so they don't spend 4-6 weeks trying to get to where they are going, losing their nutrients along the way. Think about how long it takes for a veggie to get from another country to the U.S. hmmmm......??? If you can get Organic frozen veggies for a reasonable price, double yay!! Check the drier every day for 2 weeks for loose change/bills, and SCORE you could probably afford this beauty. If you are a busy working momma like me, all you have to do is fill Sally up with water then veggies when you get home from work, turn the timer on for 15-20 minutes, go change your clothes, change a diaper, and Voila! Veggies are done!! It really is that easy! And her clean up is super easy too... I just love her. This brand is an Oster.

Now, back to finger foods... I just figured out my little man LOVES meat balls. Well... only if they are heated for exactly 20 seconds haha, but he does love them! They are perfectly sized for his little hands, AND they really do fill him up. I seriously don't know why I didn't think of this sooner. Since he can't have eggs, all I did was take some fresh ground beef, roll it in a ball, put a little bit of seasoning on them and throw them in the oven. So. incredibly. simple! I plan on making these with Turkey, and Chicken and just adding them to my usual Sunday meal prep list. You should try them too!

Before I found out Noah was allergic to eggs we also tried these gems.. Veggie egg muffins. 

They were yummy, they were delicious, they were easy to make, and they were healthier than most breakfast foods. I'm sad my son can't have eggs, but hopefully he will grow out of his food allergy. And of course he does always have my beloved veggie muffins, which are super easy for him to eat as well. 

Recipes and MORE: I think I have stated more than once that I'm not necessarily the best cook, I do try, I do. This lady though, man she likes to cook, AND she has a whole blog on toddler finger foods WITH recipes and grocery lists - wohoo! Most of the recipes include eggs which is why I didn't feature them, but feel free to give them a try and let us know if you liked them!! I plan on trying a few for sure. 

http://melissafallistestkitchen.blogspot.com/2014/01/freezer-cooking-7-toddler-finger-foods.html

If you can think of any other foods that are healthy and easy for toddlers to eat, share away! I'd love to hear what has worked for you guys!!!

Hope ya'll have a wonderful rest of your week, and fabulous weekend!!

Love & Blessings,

The Veggie Momma

P.S. not a SINGLE patient of mine told me they didn't like veggies today. Ahhhh, it is the little things in life, my heart is happy :)

Grandparents, Husbands, & Vacation

I haven't posted in a while because my husband and I were on VACATION last week. That's right, we escaped from life, and spent 4 beautiful days in Puerto Vallarta Mexico. It was AMAZING!!!! More about that later, but right now I so very proud to report that Noahs' grandparents are SERIOUSLY awesome!!! My mom, dad, & in-laws split duties to make sure that our little one was totally taken care of for 4 days. I'm not sure exactly what he ate for every meal for 4 days, but I know they all did their best to respect our wishes and not let him eat junk food. I set aside what wouldn't perish for lunches, and tried to make as much in advance as possible for them before I left. It was almost all gone when I got back, AND to top it off today he ate his veggies & normal food happily.

Now, I wasn't worried about him starving at all (the kid really does like to eat). However, with his strong 1 year old opinions lately, and his severe egg allergy, I did have a few reservations.  My mom said she fed him almost everything I had prepared for him, and he didn't go into anaphylactic shock, so all in all I'm thrilled ha!

This brings me to an important point... I know that it is not going to kill your kid if they eat something unhealthy every once in a while, but it doesn't hurt to let people know your health preferences for them. I'm forced to be pretty vocal because my little one has pretty significant food allergies, but allergies or not, if it's important to you let people know. I'm proud of you for working so hard to try and feed your little ones healthy foods, you should be proud too. I do want to clarify there is a difference between being snobby, and being an involved parent. You may have family/friends who can't afford all Organic all the time (if ever), and it would be wise not to judge them. They are probably doing the best they can, just like you.

Lastly, it doesn't hurt to be prepared. I have found the easiest way to ensure that my kid eats what I want him too, is to always have healthy foods with me, or available for him to snack on. Luckily most of my girlfriends are health conscious and usually have healthy snacks on hand if I forget some, but it doesn't hurt to make sure you never leave the house without something. This is especially important to remember in restaurants! SO, the moral of the story is to communicate to friends and family the importance of caring about feeding your little ones healthfully like you do, AND make sure you are prepared so everyone is set up for success! This is a good idea whether you are on vacation or not.

Remember husbands are STILL a priority!

Now, the second half of this post has nothing to do with nutrition for your little ones so feel free to stop reading now haha. Well, I guess it kind of relates... because having a happy marriage makes everything in parenting easier. Including family dinners, meal prep, grocery shopping, and meal time in general.  Nothing makes me prouder than seeing my husband prepare a meal for my son, and care about making sure it is healthy. He shops mindfully for him, he is intentional about feeding him his veggies, and he is my most valued teammate in this life. See below a couple pictures of my love and I from our trip. 

We have been married for almost 6 years, he is my rock. He is the man I prayed my entire life for, and he is my biggest cheerleader. Here is where we started almost 8 years ago! 

Simply put, he's a respected business owner, Godly husband, and incredible father. We got asked probably 7 times if we were newlyweds on our trip. It was a huge compliment to say the least. What I have noticed as a first time mom is that parenting never really gets easier. Whether it's living through all the various stages of life with your little one from lack of sleep, learning to crawl/walk, or picky eating...  Parenting is fantastic, & a huge blessing but boy can be HARD! I feel like it's a million times harder if you and your spouse aren't on the same team. I truly feel like this vacation was necessary for our marriage. I don't ever want to take him for granted, but the truth is I do. I think as moms sometimes we feel like we are carrying the brunt of the load w/ caregiving, and most of the time we are. BUT if we don't invest in our marriage, then it makes it  a million times harder to function as a united team. I loved this man first, long before my little one came along, it's so important to remember that.  

Now, I know vacation can be expensive, and you may not have the familial support that our family does to make it happen. But a vacation far away is not the point, investing in your marriage is the point. Whether it's a walk in the park, or just one night away together, it's important. It's necessary, and for me, even though I missed my little one like crazy... it was a REWARD to see my husband relax, and be loved on. Tonight, when were back in the real world and he was helping me make dinner and feed our son, I realized yet again how lucky I am to have such an amazing partner in life. We were working side by side as a team, trying to build a healthy foundation for our new family. And even if Noah had drank juice and eaten cookies all weekend, the time invested in my soulmate would have been worth it. Don't forget about your husbands mommas, they are NOT just there to bring home the bacon... or in my home, the Organic veggies. 

Love & blessings always, 

The Veggie Momma